How to tell a lie

“How could you believe me when I said “I love you” when you know I’ve been a liar all my life.”

Those words from an old country song sum up pretty nicely one of the problems with telling a lie.    If you have a reputation of telling a lie, people aren’t going to believe it.

But, if you’re not a well-known liar, then here are some advice on “How to Tell a Lie.”

First – Is it believable?  Is the lie something that you could do or know?  You can’t say you were in Vietnam if you’ve never been in the service.   You can’t say you tight-roped walked Niagara Falls if you weigh 300 pounds.  For a lie to be believable it has to be something that can be done or you have to have the knowledge to know.

Second – Does it have an element of truth?  All lies are better if they have some connection to some truth.  If you say you saw Mary in the park yesterday – the lie is better if you know that Mary often goes to the park – or even that the park exists.  An element of truth acts as an anchor to a lie and helps keep it believable.

Third – Can you remember it? – Keep your lie simple and as generic as possible.  If you say you saw Mary drive up to the park in her car – don’t give the color or the brand name of the car.  Simplicity in a lie is a life-saver.  Complexity will kill you when two years later in divorce court, you can’t remember what you said.

We all tell lies.  Sometimes to make a person feel good.  Sometimes to make ourselves feel better than we are, and sometimes because a lie is easier than telling the truth.  So follow the above rules and your lies will lie easier on the soul.