Quarantine humor

December 2nd, 2020 by Ken

I’m having a Quarantine Party this weekend.  None of you are invited.


Now, when I’m watching a television show or movie.  All I can think of is – everybody is standing WAY to close.


I use to spin that toilet paper like I was on the Wheel of Fortune.  Now I turn it like I’m paying a dollar a sheet for it.


After Quarantine Day 16 I’m starting to take calls from telemarketers.  Some of them are actually quite nice.  Jamar from Superior Life Insurance has a new baby.


My wife and I play this new game while we’re quarantined – – Why are you doing it that way?   I usually lose.


Just bought six pounds of cheese.  Won’t need toilet paper now.


My car probably thinks I’ve died.


Anyone else getting tan from the reading lamp?


I just got pulled over by the cops.  he said “I smell alcohol.”    I said, “That’s because you’re not respecting social distancing.”


(Editor’s note:  None of this is original from me.  I stole in from Mike Pinch.)

Posted in The Real News

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