How to lie

August 5th, 2019 by Ken

Right in the middle of political season (which seems to last all year long now), I’ve determined what makes a good lie.

It’s a fact of life that we all lie – every single one of us. Some of us do it so often that we don’t really think about it. Others do it so infrequently they can even remember the first lie they’ve ever told. But, all of us lie.

We lie for many reasons. Some of us life to make ourselves feel better. Some of us lie to make others feel better. Some of us lie to avoid embarrassment or to avoid being held responsible. Some of us lie, just because it seems like a good idea.

So, if we all lie, then do I have a deal for you. I’ve developed a program called “Five Elements of a Good Lie.” Follow this program and you’ll never have to worry about being caught in a lie.

First – Does the lie have an element of truth? In order for a lie to be believable it has to have some connection to the truth. You can’t say the ski is falling and have people believe it. But, if something is falling from the sky – like an old satellite – then you can say, the sky is falling.

Second – The lie must be believable. You can’t say you’ve climbed Mt. Everest if you’ve never climbed a mountain. But, if you have climbed Mt. Rainier, then you can probably say that you’ve also climbed Mt. Everest and people may believe you.

Third – Can you remember it? – That’s often the hardest part about a lie. Law enforcement often catch people in a lie because they can’t remember the lie they told. The simpler the lie, the easier to remember. Or, tell the same lie so often, that you’ve fooled your brain into believing its real. A lot of politicians do this.

Fourth – Does it make someone feel better? We often call this a White lie – as opposed to a Black lie (I guess). A white lie is a good lie because it makes someone feel better. We do it all of the time. We tell someone we like their haircut, when we don’t. We tell someone they look good in that outfit – when they don’t. We don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, so we lie.

Fifth – Is it deniable? Can you say – “I never said that” to have people conclude that you would never do something like that. (Remember Bill Clinton.)

So, we all lie. But if we do it right then no one will know – or care. All politicians running for public office are free to download this column.

Posted in The Real News


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