Tax Sex

While the Washington State Legislature wrestles with a budget deficit and is looking at ways of generating new tax revenue, they are taking a serious looks at “sin taxes.”

Sin taxes are those activities in which you don’t engage in, but other people do, such as gambling, smoking and drinking.  Legislators deem these as “sins” and tax them because participants are willing to pay.

So, while the legislature is looking at sin taxes as one way to help balance the state’s budget, they’ve missed one important sin- – SEX.   Tax sex.  That will bring in millions of dollars in revenue and people will pay it voluntarily.

Here’s how it would work.  Every adult in Washington state would have to pay a tax (the amount to be determined) every time he or she had sex.  The money would be collected monthly and would be voluntary.  No one would have to pay, but all of those who did, would be listed.  And, the list would be open to the public.  That way everyone would know who was paying and who wasn’t.

Most men would pay the tax every month, even those who hadn’t engaged in sex, because it would be important to the male ego.  Those particularly apt to pay would be young men, although us old men couldn’t be ruled out.

OK, the idea’s a little far-fetched, but if you’re really going to look at sin taxes as a means to balance the state’s budget, you should look at tapping all of the sins (provided you consider sex a sin.)

Most of the other ones are tapped out.  There isn’t much money to be pulled from smokers.  The price of cigarettes has been taxed many dollars a pack already.  Besides, the only ones who still smoke are poor or ignorant.

The legislature is looking at increasing revenue from booze, by opening more state run liquor stores and letting all of them open on Sunday.  Those of us who drink make runs to Idaho or Nevada on a regular basis.

Gambling is the only sin we have left to tax but we’ve let the indian tribes siphon off the bulk of the profits from gambling.  Unless we want to open state run video poker parlors like Oregon, there isn’t much left to tax.

It looks to me like the only sin left to tax is sex, and since the tax is voluntary no one can complain too much.

Of course, that means that each legislator would have to pay the tax as well, and with public disclosure required it’s just another activity they would have to defend during re-election.

I can see it now — “And you say you paid how much in sex taxes last year, Senator?”